I have lots of people in my live that I love dearly. I’m really blessed to have so many people around me who care about me. 2 of those people are my husband, Kelly, and my daughter Posey. It’s 11:11 right now, and I’m up late because I have to leave tomorrow for about a week. I’m really really sad. I can’t quite explain it. I don’t usually get this sad about leaving, but for some reason, this time my heart hurts. I think I’m feeling guilty because I’m falling down on the job of being a wife and a mom, and my job as a photographer is taking first place this week. I think that b/c I’ve already been gone for 4 days, it’s making this trip even harder.
You can’t tell it from her photos, but Posey is not a cuddler! If you can get 1 kiss out of her, or 10 seconds of her head on your shoulder, you’re lucky! She’s always on the go. Whatever she’s doing, she wants to do something else. Now that she’s walking, she walks everywhere, all the time! All that to say that tonight, I really really just wanted her to love on me. I was literally in tears b/c all I wanted was for her to look me in the eye or lay on my shoulder or let me rock her….but she wouldn’t.
Stay with me here….I have a point. I had a sweet girl email me the other night and tell me that the Lord spoke to her and told her to tell me to read a book. She said that the Lord told her 3 times to tell me to read the book, “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan. Tonight I read a few pages. Just so happens that what I read was talking about the love that God has for us. How so many of us have an unhealthy perception of His love. Francis explains that he was basically always scared of God, and that he spent most of his time just trying not to make Him mad. Francis then talks about how he really began to understand the love God has for us when he had kids. A love that is literally painful.
Tonight, I didn’t care what Posey had done today. I didn’t care that she’d thrown 27 falling down temper tantrums, or kicked me when I changed her diaper. When it was all said and done, the most important thing to me was that she rest in me and love me. All I wanted was her to put her head on my shoulder or her arms around my neck.
God refers to us as his children, and himself as our father. And seeing as He made us in his image, surely he feels the same way about me as I do about Posey(expect multiplied about a bazillion) . Could it be that when it’s all said and done, all he wants from me is my love? Maybe He’s not worried about me punching the time clock at the door of the church or forcing myself to have a “quiet time”. Maybe He just wants me to rest in Him. Maybe all he wants is for me to turn my attention to Him throughout the day.
It’s crazy how much Posey acts like me. I’m always running, running. Too busy to stop and look the Father in the eye or tell him I love him. Funny how He shows us things??
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.
The second(commandment) is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
“Be still, and know that I am God”
Seeing as I’m having the talking bug tonight, I’m not going to stop here.
I wanted to write down some things about Kelly and Posey. I’m going to be gone on Valentine’s day, so this is my happy Valentine to my sweet hubby and my sweet Po.
Things I love about Kelly(boy)
* I love that you love Jesus more than you love me
* I love that you look like you’re mad when you sleep
* I love that you will get up with Posey in the middle of the night
* I love that you use Nacho Libre quotes in 2/3’s of all conversation
* I love that you don’t know what you want to do when you grow up
* I love that you don’t drink soda’s, but you’ll bring me one when you come home
* I love that you clean the dishes
* I love that you tell me I’m pretty, even when I’m ugly
* I love that we can pick our noses together
* I love that you are worthless after 9:30 at night
* I love that you like to wake up at 5:30 in the morning
* I love that you’ll go get my oil changed so you won’t have to get mad at me for not doing it
* I love that you don’t expect me to cook every night
*I love the way you look….you’re hot
* I love that you are willing to drive a 89 Honda Civic even though you want a truck
* I love the way you look at Posey
* I love to veg out and spoon on the couch with you
* I love that you aren’t that impressed with my photography
* I love when you get the talking bug
* I love that you are still nervous to sing around me
* I love that you are such a hard worker
* I love that we get excited about the same things
* Bru- Hah! I LOVE YOU!!
Things I love about Posey
* I love that you are spicey
* I love the dimple in your nose
* I love when you get tickled
* I love to watch your feet stick strait out when you walk
* I love the curls that get in your face
* I love that you love to be outside
* I love finding your tiny socks hidden under the furniture and in the tupperware drawer
* I love how you have a little pot belly at night
* I love the gap in your front 2 teeth
* I love to hear you hum as you fall asleep
* I love that you bark when you hear a dog
* I love that every tube of chapstick I own has your finger mark in it
* I love that you will only use grown up toothbrushes, spoons, forks, and cups!
* I love that you call me dada
* I love the 20 seconds in the tub when you lay on my shoulder
* I love that you are so stinkin strong willed
* I love that you love cows
* I love that your skin is so white it’s almost opaque
* I love that you won’t let me touch your nose
* I love your fat little fingers and feet
* I love your fat little cheeks
* I love to watch you eat yogurt by yourself
* I love to hear you breath at night
* I love you more than you’ll ever know!